Stressed as a son of a bitch. I got alot of things goin' on. Insurance company is not doing so well with me. I am going to protest against Allstate Insurance on their claim that your in good hands with them cause its a bogus lie. And I am going to tell them. I don't care if someone is on vacation, I've been waiting now for almost 3 weeks for something. I called yesterday and the bitch tells me, the lady was on vacation and I told her, I don't care. I want it done and over with. I don't want to linger any longer than it has too. Then on top of everything I forgot its a holiday on thursday so that means NO CHILD SUPPORT. Ok the SDU done fucked up once. I didn't get one last week either, so that means, I can't go anywhere or do anything or buy any necessities for Jonathan. And right now he needs some things that I can't get for him. I wish things would change right now for me. I had a dicussion with Mike last night, and I told him I am getting a job even if its temporary after his vacation cause this can't work otherwise. I need my own money. I would like to wait til' after I get moved to get a job for a certain reason. For one, my rent would be based on my income and yes I won't have a whole lot of money especially for utilities and stuff. So if I wait then my rent won't be as high and I could make it and get something started. I hate being on my own. I mean I like not having anyone to make sure things are perfect and so forth. And to please myself. But I also miss having someone to come home too. I have come to see that I am so completely done with my ex. I hate him so freakin' much. He said some mean things to me the other night, and I am over looking it cause he is just jealous. I mean come on, why would you say something like, "What the hell does he see in you?" or "What gotta have someone else watch your kid while you go fuck your buddy?" Ok, the question was, for him to watch his son while I was gone. I figured it would be smart to ask the FATHER of OUR Son to watch him. I mean, he has him 5 days a month if that. He should be obligated to to take him and enjoy him. Jonathan isn't going to forgive him for NOT being there for him. But its ok for him to cut his weekends short just so his new lady friend can do his nasty lifestyle in other words...FUCK. Do I care? HELL NO. Do I ask questions? HELL NO. But that is ok, cause when the time comes and he asks me a favor, I am just simply going to say NO. And its funny, he is living with her and from what I was told, he isn't happy with living there. He can't stand the kids. Well then stupid mother fucker get a grip. He is nothing but a selfish bastard and that's all he's been. And ever will be. So I will not take anymore shit from him. Things will be changing here soon. And you know what? Jonathan will have a father figure in his life that will enjoy doing things with him and for him, and Mike doesn't have too but chooses too. Mike and I have been dating for approx. 9 months and already has taken us on his little vacation with the kids over the summer and taking him fishing. Playing video games with him and so forth. And no I am not confusing Jonathan, I am giving him something he needs. Something positive in his life. Jonathan needs a Mom and a Father Figure. Well gotta run.